Married to a chef

married to a chef

There’s a sorority of chef’s wives network which I follow closely. I discovered Emulsified Family‘s blog quite recently and marvel at how Jennifer raises three kids and remains a pillar of strength and cheerleader for her chef husband.

We don’t yet have kids in the equation and I’m not sure how much harder that would be balancing a schedule of most times longer hours than my chef – there’s juice on the table before he goes off to work and we don’t get to talk because I’m already on early morning conference calls. When he returns, I’m still working – either on my full time client projects or on my own personal projects or sometimes still stuck on the phone on late night conference calls that stop just before midnight. On most days, my days are just as long as his, if not longer. I also manage all the household bills, travel itineraries and cannot be more grateful for the luxury of being able to afford domestic help here because I am a (typical spoilt middle class Singaporean) failure with housework.

I think this article hits the nail on the head that one married to a chef must love being alone – and this is precious time for your own projects and independence is a rare luxury in a normal 9-5 relationship. I love being on my own and what most people find odd is I love going to the cinema alone, often times because me and my chef share different interests in genres of movies.

However, increasingly, I am learning that focusing on running a household as a housewife or having a regular 9-5 is a better option to have the time and energy to be a good cheerleader in a chef’s life, because you cannot have your cake and eat it – no endless hours of entrepreneur adventures or career ambitions with or without kids… well, because I guess someone has to run the household – and in a very traditional family like mine that I grew up in – and quite clearly also in our social circle – that role falls on the woman. A reality I have to accept that women can’t really have it all, despite all the books and articles you read.

However, there’s much hope as from the looks of it – wives of chefs in the US with single handedly managing the household and caring for their children while having a portable career like running websites and blogs that make a difference and is a way to monetise automated income. Very inspiring.


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