Motherhood: It takes a village
I can’t believe a year has gone by and the baby is ONE! I finally understand the cliché phrase of “the days are long and the years are short.” We survived as a family – everyone is alive, healthy and happy, inspite of the many bumps we’ve had to navigate along the way!
My sister-in-law reminded me that raising a child is a marathon and at no time should I even think about sprinting – there really isn’t a finish line. She also made a great point that “it takes a village” in our generation and modern life with internet and technology, we don’t have the same support network and system. Raising a child today is probably the equivalent of raising ten in our parents’ generation- when they had the milk man, post man, neighbours etc watching each others kids and looking out for each other.
Now, we worry about privacy, paedophiles lurking on the internet and cyberbullying — things the earlier generations didn’t have to worry about.
It takes all shape and form – working mum, Stay at home mum, hired help, nanny, grandparents help, working and doing an MBA or PHD on top of mothering. It’s all hard. I spent the first 8.5months flying solo with no family or hired help and a husband that works 12-14 hours a day, along with all public holidays, which means I’m doing bath and bedtime on my own 5 or more nights a week.
It’s all hard and I think we all just get on with it, choice is a luxury and even a ton of money does not always buy reliable help. It’s all luck. I told myself that I would take a year off work, but ended up accepting projects and working when the baby goes down to bed at 630pm. The exhaustion is real.
I’ve read many books navigating this journey cluelessly, and I can’t recommend enough 12 hours by 12 weeks for starting sleep training, it was God sent and recommended by my paediatrician. We had a couple of hard nights and still do with sleep regression and teething, but as my paeds said if you have a good sleeper, they always return to base and back to their sleep routine. It has been true after weathering out 7-10 days, the longest stretch. We’ve had a couple of days here and there with sleep regression, teething, night terrors, but we’ve returned to base and feel a little more confident.
Grateful for the internet and all the resources available. During this pandemic times, it makes it a little less lonely trying to navigate the unknown and trying to show up as a better parent and undo all the trauma of earlier generations.
Wherever you are on your Motherhood journey, you’re not alone and don’t feel bad about asking for help, don’t waste time secondguessing and overthinking. And most important of all, walk away from any drama the moment you smell it.
Life is short and we are time poor, got to keep moving forward!
For his first birthday, Papa made his cake. Banana bread base with very ripe bananas with no added sugar. I made apple compote to line the layer and the cream is mascarpone, whipped cream, vanilla beans and a dash of maple syrup.
We are looking forward to what the next days, months and years will bring and it’s been so much fun watching human evolution and witnessing all these developmental milestones.first birthday, motherhood